


Is This the End

by bmw4fh1017



Series: After the Winter Soldier [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canon Divergence- Avengers Infinity War, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-24 23:44:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmw4fh1017/pseuds/bmw4fh1017
Summary: "You should have gone for the head." And then a snap.An overwhelming time for Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes causes them to remember the past and look towards the future.





	1. Is This the End

**Author's Note:**

> Here's what happen to Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes and everyone left on Wakanda while no one on Titan has disappeared.

Steve Rogers looked over horrified as Thor drove his new space axe thing into Thanos’s chest.

“You should have gone for the head,” Thanos croaked.

“NO-” Thor shouted as Thanos raised his left hand to snap.

The purple titan looked up with a smug expression. Steve would have been more worried if Thanos hadn’t burst into ash a second later.

Thor stood still looking as equally confused as Steve felt. He walked closer to the Asgardian, clutching at his ribs.

“Where’d he go?” he asked Thor, still very much out of breath, “Thor.”

He looked around, overwhelmed. Everything looked normal. Everything looked the same, “Where’d he go?” he asked again, unable for form any other thoughts.

“Steve?” he knew that voice. He looked over to where Bucky was walking towards him.

“Buck,” He willed himself to walk but his legs felt like lead.

“Steve,” Bucky dropped his gun. His panicked expression scared Steve more than anything else had within the past 24 hours. He ignored the throbbing pain in his side and walked over to Bucky as quickly as he could without falling.

“I’ve got you, Buck” Steve breathed in his boyfriend’s ear. Something Bucky must’ve taken to heart, seeing as Steve seemed to be the only thing keeping him upright.

“Steve,” Bucky repeated, obviously just as freaked out as Steve.

“I won’t let go of you,” Steve squeezed his eyes shut, “I can’t.”

“I want to go home,” Bucky gasped out, “Just… literally anywhere but here,” Bucky’s hold around Steve tightened a little, “As long as I get to stay with you,”

“Well I may have to stay here a while,” Steve realized, “I think we destroyed Wakanda.”

“Steve! Bucky!” the super soldiers heard Sam call from through the trees.

“Sam!” Bucky called back. Apparently hearing their friend’s voice calmed Bucky down somewhat as he loosened his grip on Steve.

Sam made his way to the clearing. Bucky let go of Steve all together to quickly hug Sam. Steve would’ve teased them if he hadn’t felt so overwhelmed and dizzy over everything. He stumbled backwards, tripping over rocks and branches; finally collapsing near where Thanos had stood only minutes earlier.

“Oh god,” he muttered as he noticed Vision’s discarded body and he was suddenly filled with nausea. He pressed his face into palms, hoping the earth could stop spinning so he could have two seconds to comprehend everything.

“Steve!” Bucky ran over to Steve and tried to pull him up.

“No, Buck,” Steve mumbled. Bucky must’ve miraculously understood as he let go of Steve and sat down next to him; waiting a few seconds before cautiously resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve closed his eyes and focused on Bucky’s breathing and his own.

He thought they had reached it. The end. Not just their end of the line, but everyone’s.

He finally found his voice and hoarsely whispered, “I thought that was our endgame,”

Bucky nodded in response, repeating what he had said earlier, “I want to go home.”

Steve knew Bucky wasn’t thinking of their shared apartment in Brooklyn.

Since he had woken up in 2012, Steve had never yearned to be home more than he did then. To return to the last time everything had made sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In all honesty, I wrote this months before Endgame came out. And let me tell you, it felt so good to watch Thanos die the same way (even if happened in 2023, 5 years after I made him die).
> 
> And before anyone says anything:  
> 1\. I know I probably used the word (term?) Endgame incorrectly. This was written soon after Marvel had released the title and I really wanted to add it as part of the story.  
> 2\. We may know Thor's axe is named Stormbreaker, but Steve doesn't. So "space axe thing" is the correct term.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments you guys are leaving on this series. I really have enjoyed writing these stories and I love knowing that you guys are enjoying them, too. :)


	2. The Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky wants to return home...  
> Steve wants to go back to the last time everything made sense...
> 
> So here we are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter started as it's own independent story, but I realized it fit in pretty well as a second chapter. The last moment both boys want to go back to.

1943

Bucky lifted his head off the pillow to press his nose into the head which was resting on his chest; his fingers lightly touching the bare skin along Steve’s spine.

“I’m scared,” Bucky confessed.

“Scared of what?” asked Steve, accompanied by the shift of his arms around Bucky’s middle.

“Everything,” Bucky shrugged. This last confession was just that: everything. One last effort to convince Steve to stay away from the war he was about to ship out to. Steve was the only person he would ever admit this weakness to, “I’m scared I won’t come home. That this will be the last night we spend together.”

“But you have to come back. ‘Till the end of the line, remember? You promised,” The last two words were whispered quietly but rang out in Bucky’s mind the loudest.

He _had_ promised. He had promised Steve a lot of things. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep most of them, not in this lifetime. Till the end of the line though; that he could keep. And he intended to keep it until, well, the end of the line.

Bucky held his boy a little tighter, if that was even possible. Whether it was forever or not; this would be the last time they would share the same bed for a long time. Bucky shipped off to Europe the next morning, leaving Steve behind.

And what would happen once he returned? He was already twenty-six. He’d been living with his best friend for the past seven years; since Steve’s mother had passed away. He would be expected to find a wife.

Same with Steve. Even if Steve never believed him, Bucky was always certain there was a girl out there who would love him. There wasn’t a single thing not loveable about Steve Rogers. He may have been a little biased though. He had been in love with the guy since he was fifteen. Though he had been eighteen the first time they had fallen asleep like this— Steve wrapped up in Bucky’s embrace.

Bucky wished he hadn’t waited so long. Wished that there was no war to tear them apart. Wished they could stay like this until the end.

Steve’s soft snoring made Bucky smile. At least only one of them was still awake to worry. He stifled a yawn and kissed Steve’s head before closing his own eyes.

In his last waking moments, he prayed that he would awake in a world where Steve was finally his to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's last night before shipping out to war. It may be pretty depressing, but it would be their last night together before the serum and Hydra.
> 
> The last night they had as just Steve and Bucky.


	3. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter where they wish to be, they're here. All they can do now is look forwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now back in the present, we find out how Steve and Bucky plan to move on after Thanos.
> 
> I don't think I made this clear earlier: but all the snap did in this universe was get rid of Thanos and all his allies across the universe. No one that we care about was snapped at all. The Earth was left untouched, can't say the same about some random distant planets no one gives a shit about though...

2018  
Bucky readjusted himself for what felt like the hundredth time. It wasn’t easy; especially with the 240 lbs. man lying on him, whom he was determined not to wake up.

He wouldn’t have needed to move around so often if the bed wasn’t so… soft! That was a ridiculous argument to make and he knew it. But it was true. He had never slept on a bed he could compare with a marshmallow. Not in his childhood and certainly not during the war. With Hydra, the closest thing he got to sleep was being frozen after each mission. It was obvious that Steve had gone through the same thing coming home since their bed in Brooklyn was nowhere near this— bouncy.

Bucky switched from stroking the top of Steve’s head to stroking his cheek. Steve’s beard, which he had grown at Bucky’s insistence, separated him from the Steve Rogers of the past. He no longer looked like the proper Captain America who was in charge of first the Howling Commandos then the Avengers. He looked like Steve Rogers: regular man.

And that’s just who he was now. A regular man who you wouldn’t glance at twice if you saw him walking around the city. Steve enjoyed this newfound anonymity. He could live a quiet life without being asked about the Avengers every two seconds.

Captain America was no longer an Avenger; hadn’t been for two years. Two glorious years where he wasn’t called on to save the world and risk his life.

Yet here he was, passed out in Bucky’s arms in the middle of the Wakandan palace. The fight versus Thanos’s minions had been too much on Steve— on all of them.

Everyone was recovering. Some had more physical marks than others. Steve himself had suffered from two broken ribs; causing his torso to be wrapped in bandages even though everyone knew his serum wouldn’t leave him banged up for too long. Two cuts on his face, above his eyebrow and below his lip, had healed significantly since the battle.

It was the mental effects of the fight which messed Steve up most though. Finally his biggest weakness was bared and Thanos and his army wasted no time attacking it. Steve was no longer in charge.

It seemed like a simple enough concept to anyone else. Who would think Captain America would fall apart because of a simple lack of control? Bucky knew though. Steve had fought for the first few decades of his life for control. Control over his family, his love life, his health: everything. The serum gave him not only the ability to have control but earned him the respect and trust from other people to gain it. If Captain America wanted it, Captain America got it.

Even the Sokovia Accords, which threatened to take away his control, didn’t mess him up too much. He had control over how he walked away. But here in Wakanda everything was gone. He may have called the shots but had no control once the barrier was open. He had no control over Tony: who had disappeared into space with his son and someone Thor had called a wizard. Steve had no control over how they beat Thanos. And no one really had any clue to how he died. If he actually had died.

The battle itself was fine. Steve was more than capable in any fight. But it was the aftermath which hit him like a train. Since then he had refused to leave Bucky’s side. Not that Bucky would have let him leave anyway. He looked lost though. Was no longer barking orders to get people medical help like he would after defeating any other foe. He had clung to Bucky’s metal arm with the expression of a wounded puppy.

Bucky had come out of the fight mostly unharmed. Except for a few bruises and bumps, he was fine. Control had never been Bucky’s thing. Always had it growing up but was always willing to give it to Steve. He totally lost it when it came to the war and sacrificed everything else once captured by Hydra. He didn’t fight for control once he returned to Steve. Still more than happy to let his Steve guide them both through life. As long as he had Steve, he knew he was in capable hands.

Steve’s arms tightened around Bucky in his sleep; somehow finding the strength to roll over, pulling Bucky on top of him. Bucky waited a few seconds, contemplating whether he should wake Steve up or stay with his face shoved in the pillow. He eventually decided crushing Steve and his still healing ribs was not the best idea.

Carefully, Bucky rolled off the bed. He crouched next to it, resting his chin on the mattress as Steve sleepily opened his eyes.

“Hey,” Bucky smiled softly.

“Hey,” Steve replied, slowly sitting up while surveying the room around him.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Bucky asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“No,” Steve muttered, “I’m good.”

Bucky nodded, resting a hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve sunk back into the pillows, finding it exhausting to sit up by himself.

“New arm?”

“Yeah, vibranium.”

“Looks good,” Steve finally found the strength to smile.

“Finally rid of Hydra.”

Steve’s smile disappeared. He took Bucky’s hand off his shoulder and loosely threaded their fingers together.

“I don’t know what happened, Buck,” Steve confessed softly.

“No one does, Steve,” Bucky comforted.

“We lost Tony. We lost Peter—”

“Thor left to get them with the racoon and the tree,” Bucky interjected.

“We lost Vision—”

“Already being fixed by Shuri. He may not have the mind stone, but now he’ll be an annoying gen Z kid just like Pete,” Bucky smiled at the thought of the already socially awkward Vision with Spider-man-brand sarcasm.

“We lost everything, Buck. Everything that we once knew is gone. There’s nothing left. I’ve worked so hard to try to keep things the same but… it didn’t work.”

“I didn’t lose everything,” Bucky stated, “I didn’t lose you. And you didn’t lose me. I know you’re not talking about just today, but that’s all we can focus on now. We won today. That’s all that matters.”

“But… but what did we gain? What was the use of fighting? Do we just accept that Thanos is gone and return to normal life? Forgetting everything that just happened?”

“No. I don’t think that’s possible. At least half of Manhattan has PTSD by now. Don’t know where else those giant rings went. By now the whole world knows that something happened. It will probably take a few lifetimes for everyone to be okay again.”

“So what are we supposed to do?” Bucky wasn’t used to Steve asking this question. Steve usually guided them through this question.

“We rebuild,” Bucky stated, “We keep living.”

“Can we do that?”

“Steve. You thought you died seventy years ago. You woke up and everything you knew was gone. Everyone thought I died seventy years ago. I regained my memories in a world where everything had changed without me knowing. We survived that, and we can survive this.”

“I can’t save the world anymore,” Steve whispered in fear, “None of us can. We didn’t defeat Thanos. He defeated himself.”

“Well then, I guess it’s time to find a new hero. You know, be prepared for next time,” Bucky suggested, “We’ll ask around, see if anyone knows a good defender. Maybe ask Fury, haven’t seen him in a while. He probably knows someone good and murder-y.”

“And then what?” Steve asked.

“Well, we return home to a nice, normal life; with confidence that the fate of the world will no longer be determined by a man in a Coke can suit and his teenage son.”

Steve finally relaxed enough to laugh, letting Bucky know that everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always felt like Steve wants to be in control. He always follows the shots, he's always the captain. The last time he wasn't in charge when he thought he was, was in the beginning of Captain America: the Winter Soldier (when Nat had different orders than Cap. He wasn't happy to say the least.) Even in Infinity War, he was mostly calling the shots in Wakanda.
> 
> In the aftermath of Infinity War, he just looked lost and confused. He's used to knowing what's going on and now he doesn't.
> 
> For a while, this was the end. But don't worry, more comes after this. We're just starting to travel into uncharted territory. And maybe a few familiar faces will show up ;)


End file.
